A not-so-tiny idea...Micro-Church

If you’re listening to the news these days, there’s a lot of talk about the ominous threat of the bird flu. They call it a “pandemic” because of the enormous potential for this disease to spread worldwide in a short period of time. The thought frightens me and I pray that scientists find a way to stop it and that politicians don’t screw up the process of distributing the cure; I think the second half of that prayer requires more faith than the first.

The irony in all this is that while the potential damage from this disease is global, the source of the cure will be microscopic. We can’t build a giant bubble to insulate our country and protect us from this plague. But we can (and I pray we will) discover some sort of antibody that can attack and defeat – cell by cell – the Bird Flu. It’s such a wild paradox; a worldwide threat of death and destruction and our best hope is a vaccine that can’t even be seen with the human eye. There’s nothing particularly new or innovative about this dynamic; we beat Small Pox that way, we’re beating (I hope and pray) AIDS the same way.

While listening to the news, I’ve also been re-reading the Gospels and I’m seeing something I’ve never seen before. God’s plan for the redemption of the world is the same; the threat of evil, pain, suffering and broken lives was and is global. There may, in fact be no better word to describe sin itself than the word “pandemic.” But God’s response to our hopeless condition was microscopic; literally! A zygote came to life inside of a young woman. That woman carried her pregnancy to full term and gave birth to a Son; what utter mystery! The Savior of the world in diapers, nursing at His mother’s breast.

But it doesn’t end there.

That boy grew up into a no-name carpenter from a hick town in a distant province of a vast empire; hardly a platform from which to launch a worldwide rescue effort!

It gets better.

The boy became a man and recruited a microscopic (compared to the vast power of the Roman Empire) band of men and literally changed the world. The Gospel "virus" spread through human contact; family-by-family, household by household.

Not long ago I was trying to explain some of these things to my dad. I was telling him how my church, though it is small (microscopic next to many big churches) possessed so many healthy signs of life; healthy, growing relationships, a hunger for ongoing, meaningful connection with Jesus and a willingness to serve. I realized as we talked that SIZE DOES MATTER and smaller may, in fact be better. Dad, who's been a physician for more than 40 years and who has a staggering amount of insight into life said a most profound thing. "What you have is a micro-church!" He understood the enormous potential contained in small, healthy living things. Cells. I don't think he meant to, but his insight was the most encouraging thing I'd heard in a long time.

Life or death, health or sickness; it all happens at the microscopic level.

That's not to say it can't happen even in large churches. It most certainly can, but the good news here is that healthy micro-churches don't require huge corporate structures, budgets and staffing to thrive. Sometimes they thrive in spite of those things.

I guess none of this should be a surprise; Jesus said, "Where two or three are gathered, I'm there..."

Two or three,
two or three dozen,
two or three hundred,
two or three thousand

the only number that matters is

One.

My dog ate my shoe...

My dog ate my shoe. Not an old sneaker mind you, but one of my $200.00 cycling shoes. The demon spawn grabbed it, pulled it into her pen and ate it while I was at work. No. I didn’t hit her. I wanted to, but I didn’t. I hit the fridge.

It was stupid of me I know. I left them where she could reach; did I mention she’s a puppy? Did I mention I’m nuts about that dog? What made me so mad is that I can’t afford to replace them, but riding a bike these days is, for legitimate health reasons, something I have to do.

I know. I know. You’re asking yourself, “Why did you spend $200.00 on shoes?” I didn’t. They were a gift from my dad. I told him one time that I needed a new pair cause my old ones were too small and had turned my toenail black and it was falling off. He didn’t want to see it, but he said I needed a good pair of shoes, so he bought me the best. My dad is extravagant that way; he would rather deny himself so that one of his kids, or his wife…or a friend could be blessed. I really liked those shoes.

I really love my dad.

I went on a trip right after all this happened. I was crabby cause I didn’t know what I was going to do now that my shoes were ruined. I had resigned myself to loosing another toenail by wearing the old ones. Don’t ask me why I kept them, but I did. While on my trip, I snuck into a sporting goods store and found a pair big enough to fit which is rare enough but then I saw something even more rare; the price. Normally the shoes sold for over $100.00, but they were on sale for $14.00! Of course I bought them. And they’re at least as good as the old ones. Probably better. My crabbiness and anger disappeared, replaced by a brief moment of shame for the way I acted towards the dog and was quickly followed by a deep feeling of gratitude. God surprised me with a gift I did not expect and certainly did not deserve. He’s extravagant that way; He would rather deny Himself, love me completely, sacrificially, scandalously; bless me with gifts – some simple, some profound. I really like these shoes.

I really love my Dad.

...on "being in the Word"

One summer I decided that we were going to do “church” differently. Rather than conduct a regular church service every week, I suggested we meet every other week at people’s homes and share a meal. No “worship time” no “message” just pasta and bratwurst. I don’t know, it sounded very New Testamenty at the time and being the innovative thinker that I am (at least in my mind!), I figured I could persuade people that this was a really cool idea. So I made the decision all by myself and inflicted it on our church.

Hindsight tells me that I should have unloaded this bomb a bit more carefully. It probably would have led to a better outcome, but despite the struggle, I discovered something. It’s really easy to talk about being innovative and “thinking-outside-the-box” but when it comes down to actually doing things differently, its really hard…and we don’t like to do hard things. I should have noticed it sooner, but there was some real anxiety over this.

Conversations I had after-the-fact revealed questions like;

“Shouldn't there be a bulletin?

Aren't we supposed to be singing worship songs?”

Probably the biggest question was “shouldn’t we be more in the Word?” Now, over dinner, we talked genuinely about our lives, we prayed for each other. We laughed together and our affection for each other deepened, but we didn’t do a verse-by-verse exposition of the book of…say, Jonah, and we didn’t do anything remotely “Purpose-Driven!”

I've been thinking lately about exactly what it means – “IN” the Word? Does it mean that we should be reading chapter after chapter each day? Does it mean detailed study and analysis? Does it mean memorization? Maybe a more important question is "whose job is it to do this?"

I have a feeling that God's perspective on this issue is a lot different. Think about it this way: if the core issue that separated man from God was some sort of spiritual disease, He would have sent some kind of cosmic vaccination to heal us. If the core issue was our inability to hear His message, He would have waited until the 20th century when "communication was king" and capitalized on our amazing ability to transmit large and complex amounts of information. If it were simply an intellectual argument or scientific evidence keeping us from Him, wouldn't it be more logical to send a brilliant scientist or philosopher; someone with impeccable credentials who could reason us into heaven? But none of these approaches get to the heart of the matter.

God desired a relationship - person to person - so He came- flesh and blood; a Person to whom we could relate. Jesus' own best friend said it this way: "the Word became flesh and dwelt among us." God had every possible means of communication at His disposal when He decided it was time to unveil His Kingdom. He chose to put skin on and explain it face-to-face. So for God (and I admit the analogy is risky) "being-in-the-word" simply meant fleshing out truth in three-dimensional, living color. The truth is He loves us and wants to be with us! For us it means living moment by moment believing that Jesus is real and that He really wants to be a part of our lives. It means we talk (and probably more important, we listen) to Him. It means we make daily decisions based on what is best for our relationship together. It means that His priorities are becoming our priorities. That’s how Jesus’ other friends (Peter, John and the other guys) saw it. Why should it be different for us?

We’ve probably forgotten more biblical information than most people will ever learn. I know a lot of people who can quote chapter-and-verse and are very skillful in theological debate, but that's not the point. The point is: are we putting skin on what we already know? Paul admonished us to do that very thing; (see Phil. 3:16) It often seems that the people who complain the loudest about wanting more of the "Word" in their church experience are the ones least likely to flesh out even the simplest of Biblical commands like, "do not think more highly of yourselves than you ought, but in humility regard one another as more important than yourselves." Or "rejoice in the Lord…"

Try asking yourself a few questions that might suggest how much of the “Word” you’re getting. In the last week, what have you done personally to flesh out what you already know? Does your schedule reflect a life-altering devotion to loving God and those around you? This is straight from Scripture (Matthew 22:37-40 to be precise); its pure theology. Is it your biography? Isn’t it time that we defined this phrase more Biblically? Let’s say that from now on, "Being-in-the-Word" means fewer words and more action. It means that we really only "know" something when we're living it. It means, like it did for Jesus, a life-altering devotion and submission to the will of the Father.

The fact is, detailed Biblical analysis and study without a sincere willingness to put into practice the things learned is NOT being in the Word. If it was, Jesus would have had a faithful band of Pharisees, not hookers, criminals, cripples and rednecks following Him. Jesus’ brother would later tell us that DOING what the Word says is THE thing. Just listening (no matter how well presented) is nothing more than theological masturbation.

Emergent, Simple, Organic...HARD!

So far…

So far I’ve learned how hard this kind of ministry really is. It’s one thing to talk about “a church defined by relationships and not an address,” but to actually see that vision become a reality is agonizingly slow! We’ve been at this for a little over two years and as of December 1, 2005 our church (in terms of numbers) is 8 families. I want to believe that I would struggle less with this if I had more confidence in our unity. Its not that there is a lot of division and hostility, just a nagging sense that they each have slightly different agendas that aren’t at all bad, but to one degree or another different than mine.

So far I’ve come to realize how toxic I had become regarding the conventional church. And I don’t think I’m really over it. I’ve confessed and repented of the bitterness and cynicism but allowing those things to fester as long as I did cost. A lot. My bitterness infected my leadership which weakened what I was trying to accomplish here. I don’t say this to punish myself again; I know I’m forgiven, I’m just saying that there’s a price to pay for unresolved anger and hurt.

So far I’ve been forced to admit the continuous presence of pride in my heart. I don’t know it all. I can’t pretend to speak for God. My “vision” is not perfect or innovative. My skills are marginal. My hurt is not greater than anyone else’s. No one really wants to see my scars or hear about my pain. Maybe this is the kind of “suffering” Paul talked about in Philippians. Or maybe I just need to get over myself and get on with life!

So far, I realize how desperately I need a mentor. I’ve been out on this journey for a real long time without anyone older and wiser to encourage and support me. I’ve prayed and searched, but have I not done that enough? I have a lot of pastor-friends, but they’re so caught up in the running of their own ministries that I’m not at all convinced that they have a lot of time, or a lot of things to say to me. Am I being prideful or just honest? I don’t know. What I do know is that I feel very alone in all this. I’ve begun working once or twice a week at a counter in a local coffee shop just to be around people!

So far I still struggle to find a balance between a prophetic voice against the conventional, consumer-driven church and the voice of a bitter ex-pastor who couldn’t cut it in “real” church. I don’t know where the line is between disdain for the trappings of church inc. and resentment because other churches are being “successful” and I’m “failing.”

So far I still really love my wife and I’m happy for what God is doing in the lives of my children. Shawn is my best friend and being in her presence is at once challenging and comforting. She challenges me because God has made her a complicated, deep and talented woman; and much of the time I struggle to understand what she needs and how I can meet those needs. Her being complicated is not a bad thing though. It’s that very mystery that motivates me. There’s so much going on in her heart and mind and I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface after 23 years. Its comforting because I know that she loves and respects me. Half the time I’m not sure anyone else does, but most days its enough that she does!

So far…

I need to hear this again

A PRIVATE LITANY OF HUMILITY

From the desire of being praised, deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being honoured, deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being preferred, deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being consulted, deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being approved, deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of comfort and ease, deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being humiliated, deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being criticized, deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being passed over, deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being forgotten, deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being lonely, deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being hurt, deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of suffering, deliver me, Jesus.

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be chosen and I set aside,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be praised and I unnoticed,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like yours.
O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, strengthen me with your Spirit.
O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, teach me your ways.

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart,
help me put my self importance aside
to learn the kind of cooperation with others
that makes possible the presence of your Abba's household.

Adapted from a prayer by Rafael, Cardinal Merry Del Val,
from the prayer book, For Jesuits, 1963, Loyola University Press.